hi there...
school life quite ok and at times it juz sux....
i thought no one care abt my well-being in class.cos afterall i dun have clicks in class...but having to have at least a person who cares..i m already happy enough.. thanks sab.and probably karmun too..i dunno why...aftertat when i reach home today after oral..i juz cried for no apparent reason..probaby touched by wad sab say to me..even though its juz simple gesture...haha..haiz..now i know why they say "a smile can brighten a person's life" juz like a concern gesture..it can already make someone happy....
yup can say i m in a group i m comfty with...but they aint in my class at times..haiz...and i m always the target of all e gossipers...and e victim of nonsensical rumours..if only i can have juz one true friend who stand by me all times,and doesnt care abt wad others say.. i wouldnt be afraid of all these..i wouldnt have to think of wad others say abt me.. i know there are times i do say that i dun care abt all these rumours and gossipers..but still u do want to leave a good impression to yr peers..i tried to open up but sometimes its juz doesnt pay for me opening up...cos i m like e outcast...haiiz...i wanna get a better life..i wanna change to be a bettter person..and i m trying so..sometimes i felt..ppl in school juz take u for granted..probably not in my case.or maybe it is..i dunno.(wads fake fake?wads real?who can tell now?).some didnt treasure yr friendship.. everyone got their own clique..and they are always hanging around with their cliques..only a few who are willing to open up.some choose friends tat they wan to be with.....yup my close friends..thats how life like in my life now..if u guys are wondering how i have been..
but still there are those good times when ppl wanna know u better...ya i like those parts..all those small gestures.. thanks.. hee maybe i m juz not used to it.i know i should at least play a part by opening up..somehow..juz doesnt click on my interest..haiz..dunno wad to say la...i will treasure all those small gestures that ppl in e school do to me now..and i wanna bond on this kind of friendship...i believe it will be deeper ba..and know e person better.yup...
i m sorry..i still missing u..i know at times u juz dun wanna talk to me..dunno la..dun wanna think too much also.. anyway i m a rebellious person.ha.
but sometimes this rebelliousness of me cause me great trouble...juz like in my family..i always quarrel with my mum and i tried to do things my own way..and i overrule it..and then came the devoted dad..he was all about loving u..caring u..no matter wad kind of person u r..like today..he knew i always sleep late..and he actually prepare a bowl of herbal soup for me..tears*.tats so sweet of him!!tears*..and tats e moment when i will wonder to myself..tat..all those rebellious things tat i done..was it worth it?i thought abt wad aunty cindy said..yes my mum is e one who pay for my facial..and all those harsh words she said to me..probably want me to work even harder..but instead i chose not to listen...y are we children always like tat..?why do we always take everything for granted...? i didnt wan things to be this way...all i ever ask for is a happy life..a happy family.. tears* but i cant...cos i m too rebellious..i wanna spread love to everyone...but some people juz stop me from doing that..i wanna change for e better..but some juz too afraid..i dunno..dunno wad to say..so hard to say..life didnt get better..but i hope i be happy with all my freinds around me now...
*i wanna treasure these friendships..never again in my life..i will leave anyone out..this is a promise i made to the whole world...and i will keep it and not break it.I swear from e bottom of my heart..if ever some things do happen, i hope the knife will stab me deep in my heart.let e bleeding release wad i been feeling all e while.
aint saying le..bye..nitez!1.39am
