each time the deddline for selling the tickets comes near, i really got scared.
maybe i m juz not cut out to be a ticket seller.....haizzzzzzz
maybe..i m juz too easy going..and i will nv say no..
when that happens, things start to pressurise me...i couldnt get up deep inside me..
when i dun wan to show to people, i juz pretend i be ok..but actually i m not..
there are times, i juz feel like having someone beside me and let me break down and cry on their shoulder..but simply, at times, i was too afraid to do so..i didnt wan ppl to think i m a despo...i m not..u may say i m weak, but still i m a human
..humans have feelings too...
wad can i say now?all i noe was,i m tired of my parents treating me like a 15years old child..i m not..i m already 18..i know they care.i juz couldnt say it..i m tired of hearing people saying:"i dun think i m going for e party"....it means i failed.i hate failures..tears* everytime i go clubbing, i really enjoy it.cos i met people who treat me juz e way i m....and at times when i club, it really put all my worries away...
somehow clubbing let me see another side of people..there were e fun people whom u can really juz had fun..there were also people who will really treat u like friends outside..and they will protect and look out for u...i guess most of my friends belong to both of each..
but it juz tat i really felt so tied up here....tears*
then when people dun like e way i m now,i got stressed...
THEN WAD U GUYS WAN ME TO BECOME?
have u all ever thought abt my feelings in e first place?
i remembered a night where i kept crying for e longest time ever.yet no one was there..i was all alone..i nearly committed sucide..i didnt do it....cos i m afraid of blasting questions tat i will be hearing from my parents later on.i rather them not question me....so i juz had to tolerate with the pain alone.hate it this way.but wad can i do? i cant do anything....
some people thinks i will be there for them always.i know i will but there will be some who became too demanding.guess i was juz too easy going...
some people think tat people who go clubbing are despos..like wad the fuck la..it juz the wrong prospective of it..there will be some people who juz go there to mingle with their friends...and enjoy the atmosphere..yup and thats me and my friends! so stop taking that wrong perspective of it.!
i really feel like drinking my alcohol now.its in e fridge.......i guesss... haiz i dunno la..i m juz feeling alittle down..so many problems in my head now... my sister kept using the house phone..i need to call my friend..urgent!!!ugh then when my phone bill come, parents blame me for overspending it..u all are e ones who dun wan to let me use the house phone wan ok?ugh...tears*
tears really starting to build up in my eyes now..shall end here in sorrow..11.35pm
